


Late July

by 11dishwashers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, M/M, Melodrama, takes place ages ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11dishwashers/pseuds/11dishwashers
Summary: Kim Dongyoung, while lounging away his spring break on his grandmother's estate, figures out that his distant relatives have designs to marry him off. Meanwhile, his infatuation with his best friend intensifies through the constant exchanging of letters.





	Late July

**Author's Note:**

> end game jungwoo/dongyoung!!!!!!!!!!!

_ From Kim Dongyoung to Kim Jungwoo, 7th of May _

Well, my reluctant friend, I now understand why my self entitled distant relatives have seemed so trusting in the pleasure that must be my presence, about the house until late July- I had feared that perhaps a death in the family was rather imminent, as everytime I asked(it didn't seem polite to question it, but I said it as though jest was the first thing that came to mind in my post mortem situation) everyone seemed but to flubber about with their words for a moment, then busy themselves in some other household trouble that lacked the interesting qualities of myself, I'm sure. I had been right in deftly believing one of the older aunts was on death's door for the past month as each sign made it clear as such, yet now I am a more informed individual in regards to what seems to be occuring. I must be honest, it stings to have such a troublesome secret kept from me for so long- yet perhaps it isn't so gruesome as a death in the family- my grandmother has long grown tired with each and every head in requirement of satin pillowcases, and has guilted each woman about to help her with the laundry. Thus I believed it must be upon a grander scale that I should not be dismissed back to a late spring in that haunt at home(surely you remember, old friend?). 

In any case, though I am prone to self indulgent blathering my wrist is failing my ego at this very moment, so I suppose I must explain all that I've learned. 

I have never been one to tread any romantic waters; this much is as obvious to my aunts as it was to those who I previously courted against all better reason I had been known to possess prior to the engagements. I imagine they must've figured this out with such ease that the plan sprung forth immediately. So you see, I am to be married on the manner's grounds in late July; such is the good shout. It is to be a summer wedding, and will be conducted as such by my scheming relatives, who have drawn me to the place in preparations for what might be an event which will of course doom me to a life spent bathing by myself, if you understand my sentiments in that regard. To think- a girl and I! How sinfully wrong can a notion be? And furthermore, how have they somehow broken barriers in all aspects of empathy? Imagine my displeasure upon the wind's lilt, and how it would carry my timid little bride-y's white frock up in manners most poetic, how smooth her legs are compared to the garish ones graced upon men. Yet the humour is that in that moment, I'm sure I'll be quite inclined to jab the threads stretched between each of my fingers with a scalpel than accept her hand with a bashful, shameful, embarrassed sorrow so poor in its conviction. As you know, dear Jungwoo whom I've got the insanity to miss for more than pleasure and affairs, but rather as a close friend, I might die. I am to find a way to wriggle my way out of this, and if I fail I should perhaps escape on the closest transportation back to your arms(begrudging as it is to write such a sinful sentence that has the cheesiness found in romantic verse). Expect some word beforehand, and expect me to be quite frustrated when I arrive, in more ways than one. Keep me not only in your best interest but also in your prayers. 

Be still my beating heart, 

Kim Dongyoung

  
  
  


_ From Kim Jungwoo to Kim Dongyoung, 9th of May _

I'm sure I've shocked you as much as myself with this prompt response, which I find to be quite considerate! What a joke, you are right! The mere image; you with an arm posed about a dame's shoulder, hand hanging in dangerous proximity to her bust as she is enthralled by the idea, the flirting and secret glances- no, gazes, perhaps my romanticism is failing me as of late, as I have been, in mild terms, ill, and thus unable for my usual camaraderie, and this has extended to all of our good friends whom seem not to have anywhere else to be this May, though I urge them towards activities such as lake swimming that one might find rather enjoyable in this recent humid climate, and here I think to myself that it is in such matters that I miss you the most, as you would've but hesitated a moment before confirming the route to our future stupid antics- and furthermore, past the secret glances, and most devastating, and most exciting in plain terms twisted into something voyeurs might find riddled with glee, the sex! My heart grows fond at the thought, and not because you are quite engaging face down upon our mattress(she's been asking after you, I have but to tremble out your name and she understands the grandiose scaled disaster you've gone and subjected yourself to in the distance) but rather in a way that reflects how all adult women feel when a baby falls over atop a lawn and is unhurt, yet cutely idiotic to have stumbled. You are stumbling, my friend. I am not afraid to break it to you. It had been apparent from day one that your relatives' intentions were cruel, and yet you held your heart in your palms once more so the sweat ruined it in its entirety. How frightful and despicable it is that humans ever believe they know what's best for others. Perhaps I am a hypocrite in this regard, however, as I will say that I know what's best for you and I will say it as such; if you were to return to my arms as mentioned, and we spent what was left of May entangled and not in ugly lustful senses. 

I see you are quite the same with your rudeness. I have read your letter over perhaps a dozen times an hour, and a request for knowledge about my daily life has seemed to escape your ugly script each time. Do you not care about your darling Jungwoo's livelihood? And thus, I must take it upon myself to reply to a ghost more benevolent than you've ever shown yourself to be; I am in relatively good spirits in recent weeks, despite my influenza that I suspect I've gone and contracted from one of the young gardeners with greasy mop hair, working class as I accurately assume(it is not a crime to not be rich and I shan't claim as such, yet it troubles me these innocent families fall flat through financial instability alone). In the coming week I am to travel out to a tavern which I have yet to encounter in conversation, to meet up with a man whom I might take with me to bed afterwards. It is quite the anomaly, yet the story can be flaired wonderfully in person- I shall tell you the whole thing once you flee back here, which is the inevitable outcome that I, a person who isn't convinced by snake eating fortune tellers, has so foretold. He tells me he is a celebrated dart champion in the local area, which is a very ugly thing to say in spite of his genetic makeup. I amn't yet looking forward to this rendez-vous but my body is, though what it needs most seems to be... I shall stop with these attempts now! What an embarrassing plain to traverse!

And so, as to not appear hypocritical, I must ask- how is it down there where the cows file their lives at bureaucracy offices? And just how much has this letter turned you away from me? Must I make a grand appearance at the ceremony and threaten your 'bridey' with a meathook? For I am in great need to get my blood to run hot, by any means possible. Return soon- so soon that I amn't in great need of a word and that I shan't realise how fortunate I had been before. 

When in doubt laugh,

Kim Jungwoo

  
  
  


_ From Kim Dongyoung to Kim Jungwoo, 10th of May _

Are you trying to make me jealous? Because as I tell you right now, picture my face as unabashed, shameless as it has the tendency to lie, that it is very much working. Never have I felt quite so tortured in my life as I do surrounded by people whom adore me without consequence or sacrifice to be allowed as such. Not even as a ‘jaded’(I now understand how much of a laughing stock you’d made me out to be back then) sixteen year old had I felt so ensnared by my family’s goodwill; in spite of this I am making attempts for a compromise which, when enacted, shall solely benefit me, yet in ways most secretive that I will have duped them from the gateways to the stables, and all the lawn in between shall still bow down to my manipulation. I have yet to be informed of the details a groom should most certainly find necessary before a bride is wedded; her age, appearance and nationality have remained a mystery. However, her name  has been said in belated guilt by my grandmother, and it seems to me that I’m to marry this ‘Taeyong’ of Taeyongs, this lady of the flower patches, her beauty, her grace- please. I have been bored with the idea since I first wrote to you, and the distress has breached higher grounds already. Thus, I extend this hilarious invitation; will you be my best man? And to address all predictions that I might somehow materialise in your arms; it shan’t happen for a while. I have made plans to bide before I cut my family out of the picture. Then, I suppose I must elope, if that was what you had suggested but a day ago(I am desperate enough to pry this conversation open within the same day it closed), how rosy a picture it should be! I despise admitting any desires and yet I have found myself yearning for your presence as well as the rest of you. It is in such desperate moments that I remember we are friends at our core- old friends, dear friends. 

Enough with these sentimentalities. I apologise for not asking about your life(you fiend) yet I was caught in an emergency greater than anything you could comprehend, nor will you ever somehow attain the brain cells to simply imagine. Putting this aside, I will admit that my days are spent in ways that are quite easy to envy. All the women insist on cooking and I never go to bed hungry, and when a retreat is in order I can wade about in the gardens without much a thought other than worries most concerned with my current and ongoing crisis. By the point you respond I expect you must’ve already met your love at the tavern, and I am in great need of knowing details, for I am quite jealous. If not, I bid you adieu, and with much importance I ask you politely to think of me in these moments. 

Much hatred,

Dongyoung

  
  
  


_ From Lee Taeyong to Nakamoto Yuta, 12th of May _

I am growing increasingly wary towards the proceedings about my late July marriage; this much you should be well aware of by this point. It had at first seemed to be the stuff dreams were found in, already blossomed, and yet the more I ponder the more my nails shorten into little stubs with this awful nervousness, and I warn you now not to leave something so important as love up to fate in the end, for the aforementioned nervousness has grown so steady and so painful and so mandatory with each waking moment that it might as well transcend mental capabilities and become its own placebo-affected disease within me, and I see myself in the mirror sometimes(delay the laughter at your own forming accusations right now, for it is not my conceit which is forcing me to do so, despite your idle, stupid ideas) and my skin appears grey. My head swims quite often. I had accepted the risks involved with this entire affair, and yet when it comes to its stipulations I must have averted my eyes- all I can think to think is how much older this man might be than myself. I spent a lifetime trusting my mother and yet her contacts are worrisome at best. For the length of our acquaintanceship, each suitor presented before me has been a boy who works with one of her fox faced colleagues at the Belle. Thus, I am inclined to cry myself to sleep each night. The boys have been plain looking in comparison to each other, yet perhaps if I were in a good humour they'd bloom nicely before me. Still, this anxiety eats me alive. It is quite worrisome. I suggest you worry for my life and perhaps urge Taeil to do the same. 

I have but his name at the moment, though my mother has fantasized about showing me a photograph at some point(as if she's ever true to her word)- he is to be a Dongyoung, which to me sounds quite like some name for a Chinese type of dumpling- the silver lining is that this is less bothersome than it reads, as I am an avid fan when it comes to dumplings and perhaps some of this adoration can transfer to my husband at some point. I will try and remain optimistic about his attractiveness, for if it is mild I can form some ideas about how fortunate I am that he does not hurt my eyes so directly; if he is ugly I am to find his inner hotness, and if this has not the grace to exist I shall make due regardless. Such is the nature of arranged marriages, I suppose. 

In any case, please ask Taeil if he happens to know a Kim Dongyoung, as he has been around the block fifty times each month, and everyone I know seems to have been visited by distant Taeil-like nightmares at some point. It is my one and only hope. 

Love, 

Lee Taeyong

  
  
  


_ From Moon Taeil to Kim Dongyoung, 16th of May _

I'm afraid I know your future wife. She seems to be an accomplice of Nakamoto Yuta, though I'll admit I don't know what they spend their time scheming mostly, because they're always ready to push me out of most equations. I am the begrudging third to the party, yet they are sometimes stupid and naive enough to let stuff slip to me. 

Earlier, Yuta and I had spent an awkward three minutes alone in each other's company, while your future wife was relieving herself behind a patch of marigolds in the valley- we were out in the countryside and though it was unladylike, she saw it fit to do so when the lavatory absence was apparently an issue, and she didn't care about me throughout the meeting(of sorts) so I suppose she hadn't seen me as the desired man that I am. Note that I said the last sentence in jest. However true it may be, it is never flattering to slice away chances at modest compliments, and I won't let that happen. 

Well, Taeyong was relieving herself out of sight, though I could hear the trickle noises- how uncouth- from somewhere in the bushes, and as I ignored this Yuta turned to me as if someone were forcing him to, and opened his trap to speak his usual airheaded motifs, and before I could cut it short or interject he was telling me about this whole marriage situation, dirty business ordeals and all that. His description fit the one Jungwoo spoke of with such accuracy that in that moment, I faltered and without thinking(never believe I would do such a perverse thing with matching intentions) turned to look at your wife. Unfortunately, she was still crouched down, and through the leaves her eyes met my searching ones, and we both blushed. Incredibly, incredibly uncomfortable, and even more foolish still! I just might move countries to avoid this memory entirely, or at least to dodge it until it severs my limbs with shame. The moral of this story seems to be not to look towards girls when they are engaged in private activities, though I do not quite understand why god had to smite it into me so harshly. 

And this fable brings me to your moment- sit down, Kim Dongyoung, and take a deep breath. You are to marry Lee Taeyong, who is quite the seeked flower in the garden, the one who blooms most open, though not so wide the awful pollen and meanness within each and every one of us is exposed to the air, and certainly not the eyes, no matter how much one makes attempts to pry away her beauty. She is a phenomenal, meritted lady in the way that gardeners are exceptional at gardening, and what I mean by this is that she is wonderful when one takes into consideration the role that women fill in most houses and upon most mantles. Pretty, dainty, perhaps even delicate- timid yet strong enough not to dilute in major amounts, respectful yet confident enough to breach respect when a well timed joke must be made, good in jest and plentiful in gestures; she is all yours, and for that I am deeply envious. However, I shan't rain on your parade and shall instead expect an invite to be your best man, for such has been the case all throughout our childhood. 

Kind regards, 

Moon Taeil

P.S Don't worry about it too much. I have always been aware that your friendship with Jungwoo is on another level, and thus I suppose I can  settle with being a simple wedding goer with little bestness to offer. 

  
  
  


_ From Kim Jungwoo to Kim Dongyoung, 16th of May _

This entire situation is growing quite tiresome! And as you are my dearest friend, I shall not be dishonest in regards to how the turns I go through each sleep lessen by the day in your absence. I doubt this was your intent when you somehow caged yourself on your grandmother's estate(possibly in hopes to also chain yourself to each word upon the will as well) yet I am growing used to these abundances of predicaments that you are putting yourself through by choosing not to escape the hot water, and how I wake each morning knowing that I will only have to do with the lustful proceedings alone, by myself. Although you may have wonderful little dreams about how laced an affair this might be with what you once saw drawn before your very eyes in the flesh, it is now almost with shame that I do it, my form sorrow and flushed, yet not dainty and pink. It is most tiresome indeed! And miss you as I do, it is of course to be expected that a man so well and easily esteemed as myself might miss the nightlife I had once been burdened with. As you are aware, I had gone to drink with this man and watch him play darts. I had expected this to be all talk, as one with a working brain might assume, yet he hit the bullseye most splendidly on all but one throw. It was quiet about that day and no matter where I approached there was no living being to receive me. Languid, we took our time in the bar until the house drink was sour from the summer heat and the flavourings had pierced the ugly bronze liquid, and then I had put great effort into my approach of the proceeding situation, that I needn't divulge the nature of as you are quite perverse and are unlikely to change soon- I had said something akin to  _ 'I'm sure you mentioned you were staying somewhere close by,' _ which was of course a lie, yet I didn't want to torture the poor man. He was handsome in that rugged, masculine manner, which lead me to believe in an instant that his profession was something that required endurance(always a pleasure) such as a lumberjack, and this would also explain the unsightly facial hair that he had chosen to don this evening, to my distaste. However, he was still handsome and I was still pretty and we were both soulmates in that moment and view. He was not as pretty as you are, indeed, yet I thought little of it as he told me what he would do to me but moments later, as you can imagine yourself. I had not expected to replace you in any case; such a task is much too daunting for someone of my vapid, meandering nature. I had stayed at his petite maison until the night passed, and as I awoke my head began to ache with viciousness, as though hounds were clawing at my skull from the innards. And though my night was spent leisurely, and most promised, pleasurably- I could not permit myself to stay, or to be more specific, my heart could not, and thus before he could think to awaken I left the house and fled across town back to where I now sit. A feeling had overcame me, so acute that it gave me the impression of begging for mercy. I suppose you are now a celebrated life ruiner for me. A night spent in good company was nothing but a vacation for the soul, and one that could not render the experience without hollowing it still. Do you see me now, Dongyoung? Do you read me like a book? 

In any case, Taeyong is quite the conventional name, and I wish to death that your time spent together betrays this proclamation and misses the mark fulsome. Please do tell me about her once you two engage in your embarrassing couple walks about this so-called garden, which by my estimation and your desperation must be a weed patch from hell!  I am quite enthralled by the idea of you conversing with a woman, as it was not a sight I had thought I'd behold in this lifetime. What an oddity indeed. I shall now bide and await either a response or your return. In the meantime, I have received instruction from my father to prepare a song for an upcoming(and unfortunate) family birthday, which I suppose I must compose to retain any degree of regular income from my parents. Perhaps when you arrive, we could alot the money to some fun mean- a holiday, a trip, a ten course dinner, a maid corset. 

Kindly waste your time thinking about me, 

Jungwoo

  
  
  


_ From Kim Dongyoung to Kim Jungwoo, 16th of May _

I mean this in the lightest terms possible, but perhaps it is due time for you to calm down. I will not do with your sadness, with such idiotic salts to back it up, for I am not a good reason to ravage these lumberjacks for and then dispose of them quite promptly; I wish for you to enjoy yourself while I am caged! And yet, it is awful of me to feel quite envious for this man's placement in your life! It is a funny thing that he is distant yet remains closer than me in these times, and closer enough that it should make me go crimson. Each day I am astonished that we have already spent so long forlorn from each other, as but a month ago I would have assumed death if such was the case, but here I am, alive enough to write to you most quickly and to respond most desperately, my eating sugar cubes off your flattened hand; how do you reduce me to such a pitiable sight? My dear friend, how I long to flee! I could not begin to divulge the depths of the black water rising within me, for I am doomed to this fate I had foreseen but three letters ago- I advise you to write each and every day, as so much has transpired this morning that I might very well take up the pen and the vanity and inscribe an autobiography between the here and there, the disasters immense and thick as to pull at the chunks of pages. 

I had been graced quite generously with a new presence in the garden this morning; it was nearing noon however, and thus the sun was cast in blocks and lines most attractive upon the faces of women, and this was perhaps how my gut knew before the curtain call that today had been tailored as memorable, and the fabric clumped as such. I did my rounds among the lillies, and from where I stood alone the ugly brown reeds clustered to the pond were visible enough that an eyesore had been born. However, the lord was quick to dismiss this case as quickly as any white satin heel would allow, and my bridey came forth from the rose bushes, her person donned quite admirably; I remember it still, my shock and its intensity from the view of another youth such as myself on the estate, but it never sat as such a comforting thought for long. It struck me that she was a lady in finery, intentional in its simplicity so as not to force any leading thoughts in regards to her truest nature and history. She was a beauty to rival the roses in surroundance of her, and her silhouette was quick to morph with the wind as her frock fluttered about wherever fit. Her hair was done to perfection through what I assume was trial and error. Her expression was neither indifferent nor vapid,  yet it had the mystique that any man would lap to ingest, her features adorned with such savviness I was momentarily winded; and yet it is rather amusing that it has all gone to waste on a man of men such as myself! This thought too was one that struck me, and I bore a surprised character so as not to laugh with this newfound amusement at her expense. She approached me as though I was a fitful wild animal. I suppose I might as well have been at that point, to her- I would not bite and yet my intentions with her would cease to be those raked from the ashes of desire, and instead they could only be negative through our forceful arrangements, for I knew that any love would exist in my memory and not in hers, and my mopiness would not allow us to become friends without any miracles at play. It was an admiration I had for her form, but still it was not enough. 

Thus she approached, and it was plain as day that she liked what she saw in me. I choose not to be vain most of the time yet the interpretation was moreso dropped in my lap rather than really interpreted; her face went pink just below the lower eyelashes, strung together and done up into a uniform line, and her eyes slivered with something maliciously delightful.  _ 'Are you Dongyoung? _ ' she had asked, and I told her as much and I told her the truth, though I wished to run. Willing for a lightning strike induced nothing, so it seemed, and we stood there by the pond still. 

' _ I assume that you are Lee Taeyong? _ ' I had responded with, quite possibly. It occurs to me now that it shan't be so hard to make her despise me, and if such is the case she might beg for her mother to pull her from the hook and to instead seize another possible husband. It pains me to be her suitor. It has almost reached physical levels; I do not want to wed, and I must promptly run. However, there is a guilt which loves to surround my refusal, at the expense of myself and myself alone, and heaped by my distant relatives who I have no choice but to respect for being quite like me. We spoke softly to each other up to the grandiose front door, the wood slabbed with awful royal blue paint, and I bid her good noon so she mightn't be late home to mother dearest, whom I had the pleasure and leisure of hearing about for minutes on end. She is attached to her mother in ways that makes me grow fiersome- it seems that she is still a rabid dog bearing a youthful collar, and her independence will forever be strained. Taeil had said he is envious, to which I must reply that he can very well have with her should he so ask. She is pleasing to talk to and yet so dull it's almost appalling. And to mirror what you have said in your response; she isn't as pretty as you, nor should she dare dream of such impossibilities, for it will only hurt more when I do so depart. At first I was inclined(as always) to disagree with your stance, and yet now I can't help but see the truth to it. It appears that I miss you so; somehow much more than I first assumed, and I fear that the pain will only grown longer in your shadow, and that the longing will cause a rupture within my heart. Forgive me in this sudden soppiness. Perhaps I truly am going crazy. Expect me quite soon. 

I have thought and thought though it has never been time wasted,

Yours most faithfully

  
  
  


_ From Lee Taeyong to Nakamoto Yuta, 16th of May _

I am most afraid to admit that he is a beauty... how hath this god forsaken me, and I have been a good girl until now(for you shall see the mess which I am hoping to make); attending all degrees of education open to me, catering to our church's insatiable filth before mass each week, these multitudes of tapestries I have forcefully done in for my doting grandmother's sake, how I pluck snails from the pavement on rainy days so they shan't be stepped on, never have I kissed a boy in excess and certainly not a man. So it makes little sense that Dongyoung has proven quite so attractive as he is. Not only is he pleasing to the eye, but his personality has seemed to absorb some of this unfairness too. I have little choice but to bow my head to my mother for her breakaway in contacts. It is all too much for me! I have never quite felt my age as much as I do now. I am but young still, however, and it pains me that I may only kiss him until our eternity is throttled rather than other paling suitors in the roster. I know you and I have kissed once, but it was prompt enough that I'm inclined to disregard it entirely. And it was so long ago that it can only discount itself with the weathering. It was quite embarrassing for you, I suppose, which is why I find it so hilarious to bring it up from thin air- you with your blubbering, red face two inches from my own, and then less and less-! Young boys are so funny, and boys are so much funnier when they are young. It seems with age that one must subject themselves to more seriousness and uphold a mature angle towards all courses which have actions to be taken, but I suppose my dearest Yuta, we are young still. Dongyoung is but a year older, and he has somehow refrained from withering and growing skinny to the top of the bean pole, and yet I must look up to see even his neck. He had joked with me and our dialogue was hearty with the heartiness of old pals, yet his felicity shone through each word and each placement so wonderfully I can only be lead to think that he'd make a woman very happy one day. Time shall tell if this woman is me; if it is cruel enough not to be, I can assure you that it will be his own choice that prevents this. Oh, I like him so. To say the forbidden word to soon is to proclaim myself as his, and well, I am young still. I feel I must have one more escapade before my marriage and yet I am too happy to accommodate such a stunning gentleman. It surprises me still how deserving I felt of his affections, despite it all. 

Nakamoto, do not fret too deeply. I am no old maid and I am no smitten bride, and being impressed has never held much more weight than one note souls to myself. Marriage does not eradicate the joys of youth! I shall preserve our natures originally, and no husband of mine can make me a trophy wife- stay optimistic for my endeavours and the wooing of my sweetest, my handsomest Kim Dongyoung. 

Love, etc,

Lee Taeyong

  
  
  


_ From Nakamoto Yuta to Moon Taeil, 17th of May _

I am this honest-to-god, suicide inducing terrified that I have to go to you for this. I know and understand that acquaintances are rightfully believed not to be friends, yet it is of essence that I rant, and rant I shall! 

So you see; if I were to rant in any general occasion I would first confront my lovely best friend of the ages, Lee Taeyong, however I find myself quite unable in this situation, as she is the concern at hand. I think I might love her. No, of that I am sure- and she is to be wedded to this 'Dongyoung', whom she insists is quite attractive! She even tarnishes my good beauty in her giddy letter to me that arrived but today, and that I can only assume was written yesterday! An insult so cruel! She assures me that she will refuse all character development and maturity that marriage possesses and yet she is crumbling before me. 'My sweetest, my handsomest Kim Dongyoung'- she knows him less than twenty four hours and already are these bold claims surfacing! I can do nothing but fend for myself here! As if she doesn't know me... the sweetest Nakamoto Yuta, and as I'm not yet in my prime, it is quite the testament to my irresistible livelihood that I find myself burdened with fifty girls hanging out of my arms at all times. She mocks me in her letter for a kiss we shared three years ago, though based around her wording one might be lead to assume(and thus lead astray) that it occured in a previous lifetime and reincarnation of our persons. To make matters worse, it was a kiss I regarded as quite romantic; I suppose I have not the cruelty to view chaste, youthful tenderness and purity as 'inexperience’, 'foolish' or even 'embarrassing'. Upon the subject, she has said it must have been shameful for me. To think! As if any man would wish to cover up relations with such a fair, seductive dame as herself. I now must abolish it from my mental repertoire of accomplishments. This very letter from her is an enraging disgrace. My ill spoken recollection perhaps casts the sense that I despise her for it, and yet the opposite is true. How does one despise with such passion when an attachment has gone cold in the lake water? No, that would be not only dishonorable but also a disgrace of disgraces. I am red at the thought. It seems my attachment to her has been much more vital than I could previously suspect; we were the image of best friends, us two, young and handsome faces and bodies capable of much more than childish kissing, and yet I had been preoccupied with my fanclub, and her her studies(she is so intelligent, turn your head as I simper), that we had not gone quite so risque as my mind now calls for. It is a lust I have for her, and though I detail it I must say that above all else, what it means to be in love with her, to me, is the need for her to be there in each moment I spend conscious and unconscious still, if one could fathom such a thing. I need her here. And yet she is not. Oh, woe is me. I had thought her far too immature to appeal to her 'groom'(such an unassuming word now sickens me to the core) and I had expected him to be a lard filled business man with a sweaty combover, and then the fidelity would fall apart at the seams, and we could continue our slow fall into each other's arms as had been going on before. However, it pains me to know that she now has taken a liking to but-a-year-older Kim Dongyoung and her immaturity has only served to further propel her teenage girl behaviour in regards to love. As if I am one to talk; I could die without her! 

I have placed my confidence in you, dearest acquaintance, and I shall hope that this knowledge is enough to sate you for now. Write back or not, I find myself in misery either way- and yet I foretell an amusing correspondence between us. Oh how dire this life truly is for those of us in love!

My trust is my all, 

Nakamoto Yuta

  
  
  


_ From Moon Taeil to Nakamoto Yuta, 20th of May _

Fear not. Your secret is mine and mine alone, should it not taint milady Taeyong's ears by your very mouth. I must admit whatever it is that has you in such loops has escaped me, but I suppose that matters of the heart can never quite manage to follow the path carved by others besides the beloved. And further I imagine that this is the charm that is unbeknownst to me; how delightful it is that I have never been enraptured by another soul. My hopes are that when the time comes my other half shall remain shaken by a loneliness I am the sole remedy for. It is one thing to want someone there for you, but it is quite another to desire this romance and these traits so far in the depths. 

And again, fear not- Kim Dongyoung is an old friend to me, whom I have the displeasure of knowing since we had first become aware of each other in our remedial golf team. It was a posh school, as you can imagine by my stilted dialect- very traditional, quaint in education and flamboyant in architecture, and we, as boys, were made to play golf out on the lawns for sport but never leisure, and this was something us two idiots floundered at. A sorest sight in retrospect, oh my. Your Taeyong is right in that he has a lovely air about him, and a handsome face nonetheless, but again and again, fear not, for he has the tendency to resort into a constipated mess when addressed by those he does not find good in knowing. I wish not to offend you, but I have long since assumed that Taeyong would be one of these people who he carries his spite about in memory of, and it is not so personal, as it is a product of the unfortunate situation that has been hurdled before the star crossed lovers; this is circumstantial, and to be honest, they are far too alike for her claims to withstand for very long. I am aware of his love for another, and that is a secret now placed upon the tablecloth. I shan't have the cruelty to elaborate and yet I will say that you have my highest assurances in regards to the security between you and Taeyong. It shall sustain beyond Dongyoung's unintentional tomfoolery, have faith in me! Remember in earnest what you have shared with me, and I should very much advise you to keep quiet about all disclosed above. His shall be done, Yuta- it is not the time to grovel, but rather to rejoice and celebrate, for soon your lady shall return to hands most rightful and however undeserving, realistic. Confidence, brother! And patience in spades!

Kind regards, 

Moon Taeil

  
  
  


_ From Taeyong Lee to Nakamoto Yuta, 20th of May _

The wind is knocked out of me in this very moment! However, I am at this profound peace; is this what it is to be at bliss? Is such the case? All day I had the fortune to spend by Dongyoung's most sophisticated side, as we traversed the long miles between our looming inheritance estate and the main town. It is a marshy landscape which I find myself moved among- we are in the countryside, so to speak- it is the countryside to our town as a peasant village is to a glass laid city. The locals live in squalor so deep it must submerge them up to their thighs, but the rich live in such luxury that I, a girl born from wealthy relations, is still astounded by their goodwill and cause; just before we left, Dongyoung(I shall now choose to refer to him by first name, as it feels so very right)'s aunt treated us to this handler beloved by the upper upper class in a gazebo that overlooked their florals, and as the beautiful citrus flavour ran down the tumbler, how it swished, how it tasted, I understood how my lifestyle shall be when us two uptake a residence. As you can imagine, this is something I greatly look forward to, and something I would be inclined to dream of if I were a little girl with ambitions once more. I am so very enthralled! Life is an open conch to me, and oh how I wish something with equal wonder shall uptake your cause soon... your happiness is cherished dearly by me, of course, and is detrimental to my own. I shall invite you to our residence when it materialises like magic, and we will spend fantasies in the gazebos and you will meet him yourself! You two would make quite the duo. I can even hear  your simultaneous laughter now with but a strain. 

In any case, we had arrived at the main town where the townsfolk were in an uproar about some music festival or other, and on the square a live band was inciting this sway of excitement over each and every head in the crowd! I could die of happiness in retrospect, where my feelings can most unveil themselves to me as to each other- to be surrounded by such wonderful music with my dearest so lively, so in want of my reciprocation! How he speaks to me; languid yet forever asking yet forever listening all the same. It is uneventful but to me, who is graced and divined and adored by cupid, it calls for an instant action. I can no longer think straight when he is not around, retire as I might- I am alone in my room writing to you, and yet he remains on my mind. My cynical self is eradicated and no endeavours have presented themselves as necessary when irrelevant to his pursuit. 

I am so very in love, and I cannot let such a weighty thought remain in my head. You are already corresponding, heavily advising me not to do it, and yet it is something only a passion and reciprocent such as mine can ever truly justify. I am sorry to cut this letter short, but I must go about writing my confession to him now. My body is shaking with nerves and my handwriting has gone sloppy, yet I know that god has intended my eternal happiness to well over in mere moments! 

Peace and adieu, 

Lee Taeyong

  
  
  


_ From Nakamoto Yuta to Moon Taeil, 21st of May _

You say you have not been in love?

Nakamoto Yuta

  
  
  


_ From Moon to Taeil to Nakamoto Yuta, 23rd of May _

You waste a stamp on such a nothing?

It pains me to dignify your letter with a response, and yet I find myself entertaining this question. No, I don't believe I have- and what of it? I must admit a part of me was hindered from responding by sheer shock that such a conceited individual might busy themselves with the love lives of those so far from them. We have spent but a few hours in each other's presence and I fear it is enough to give you ideas about how I carry myself, the inner workings of my brain, etc. To put it simply, I am boring; this is a trait most parents seek in their children and yet it falls short in a girl's gaze quite instantly. This uninteresting life has done a great disservice to my complexion and now I am perhaps less magnetic than I was before I realised it for myself. However, my dullness also prevents me from being caught up in mystique with another person- it is far too beyond my emotions, perhaps, and with sorrow I must say that I carry a fear, that it shall always be like this. 

I take it from you that reciprocation is the key to enjoyable, idle mischief. My jealousy knows no lengths, and still I extend a wanting hand. We are two sides of a coin, so it seems, yet in proximity with one another nonetheless- your letter leaks with no self respect and yet there is something comfortable in our correspondence which I can only thrive beneath. You are an interesting fellow, and for that you must count your blessings, and perhaps sacrifice some of this inherent entertainment for those of us in such grey poverty, stemmed out from mundane existence- write me back soon. 

Kind regards, 

Moon Taeil

  
  
  


_ From Lee Taeyong to Kim Dongyoung, 20th of May _

Please grace me with your forgiveness for perhaps disturbing your sleep, however this is a message that begs these instant, sparse reassurances, and I have little choice but to reveal all now with my highest hopes not to be downtrodden, sir! Oh Dongyoung, I lack the teachings to set my words alight so as to reflect my compassion, and for this I request more forgiveness- a gentleman such as yourself deserves most eloquent verse, and it pains me that I shan't be the one to bestow it upon you. Yet, I can be honest, and my honesty runs so deep all of a sudden, as though I am vindicated by your personage and our prospects in a wondrous call of arms, to an even moreso wondrous life and beyond! It is admirable that you bring upon me the feelings of not a rose in a tower but one in a field, free from my previous hindrances yet admired nonetheless. My defences have been lowered to accommodate such pure adoration. You are a joy to accompany on long walks, despite my previous hatred towards such peaceful activities. I realised just today as we made our way to the main town, how blessed I am by what is lined up before us- it seems that without realising, it was love at first sight. And there it is! My best hopes lie in its tenderness, for although it ceases to move slowly in your light, it is quite receptive to all emotions which flatter your being. I can now see your eyes glance across this page, such an ethereal hue of the deepest brown; some may even call it black. If my feelings are not to be returned, I apologise for nothing but wasting your rest- although we are to marry, it can be gradual at times, and I am certain that no matter the scenario our golden future will remain at eye level with the deities and the angels, whether it descends to pleads and hands or not. It is a love that I cannot help but step in line with, one that astounds me in recollection upon recollection, one that exists between us two. There are yet steps to ascend in regards to language; I have not yet called you mine, or felt the happiness which can blossom in a heart deemed as yours, by history or by biology or by great care- for this I shall await your response. 

With but a fleeting thought I can become yours, and you mine,

Taeyong, who loves you so

  
  
  


_ From Kim Dongyoung to Lee Taeyong, 20th of May _

I have no wishes to provoke whatever malevolent emotions that have taken an abode within you(and this is not to imply that you are a malevolent being to boot, but rather that each vessel holds this and cannot fend it away in situations quite so worth panicking over as the one you will due face) and as such I will admit that this letter might take me reckless excursion in the name of giving quite the opposite impression, and I shall thread my words together carefully, and for this I am guilty of confession to being patronising, though I doubt it must be spelled out after such a sentence. 

I am, of course, flattered by the light I seem to capture about your gaze, though I implore you to recall each incident which brought you to your passionate conclusion and realise that I am not without faults. In fact, my faults are plentiful, and thus I will attempt not to accuse you of being wrong about me but rather suggest with some reflection and some branded self loathing. However, flattery is not a feeling exclusive to happiness. It seems that in this situation my sorrow has claimed it far before any consideration might lighten the dread. It is not that I find you unfit to compliment me in your uncalled for yet delightful manner- you are a good person who has seemed to miss a step somewhere and inflicted themselves with a hindering disease- such is a love for me: a disease. I am so very unworthy, and I mean this with each tender sentiment expressed in your wonderful letter! There is something about me that renders me useless when it comes to love; or at least your view of it, and this I shall reveal to you as I feel I can(and must) confide in you not an excuse, but a genuine reason as to my rejection, bore fully for you and sworn to honesty. 

I am afraid that it is not personal. If my neurology was somehow smited into a different lapse, then I can be sure that I would fall for you too, yet it is not something within neither my capabilities nor my experience. Lee Taeyong, I cannot accept your confession or lead you astray with a dishonest response, and even moreso, I cannot marry you. As much as my condolences are extended towards you, I feel as though you can do much better than me in any case, and I have been made aware of certain suitors who have prepared their hearts on a platter for your dissections and conduct and beauty. I save my romantic- and otherwise- relations for men, and it has been as such for my whole life(as I believe you are aware of, quite obviously), and I find myself only attracted to them and them alone. There is nothing you can do to sway this part of me or 'make me come around'. Though I understand that you are going through severe heartbreak at the moment, it is never fatal; and all I ask in you is confidentiality in regards to whatever admissions I have made in this letter that could be construed as 'scandalous' and to not persecute me based upon your worldviews, should you possess ugly ones that shun people like me. I am so insanely sorry that you wasted a love letter on me, and I am even more sorry that I cannot accept it. 

Sorry and sorry and sorry again, 

Kim Dongyoung

P.S I shall arrange to leave soon. As you read this, the time wherein I personally delivered it to you was the last time we should ever met face to face again. It will be freeing for both of us- for you are quite young and cannot see the trap you have fallen into, that arranged marriage can blot over into an arranged chemical in your brain which dictates love and takes control of your emotions, so the reigns seem as though they are in your hands and yet they cease to be even in the same space as you, and perhaps you never loved me truly, but rather the prospect of our married life- you shall forget about me much easier, and I shall return to my hometown and most certainly the voice in my head calling out to me. I bid you the most hopeful and trustful adieu, and wish upon you a life so wonderful it could bring me to envious tears in but a second. 

  
  
  


_ From Kim Dongyoung to Kim Jungwoo, 20th of May _

Oh lord what a night had been set up for me but this morning- it seems as though this day was shrouded in such importance that Lee Taeyong felt it necessary to confess her love out of the blue, rather than a once in a blue moon scenario which I had faith in when it came to such drivellous, sentimental matters. I had been mulling over my wedding(the thought that came to mind was how depressing it should be for me to wait at the altar as Taeyong pauses in her bridely walk to pat away her mother's tears in the pieus and to say such things as, 'oh my lovely mother, I shan't forget you even as I am wedded to this dashing gentleman! Therefore you must surely know that you are invited to live with us in our white wedding mansion, for I love you so!', and as this is all most certainly occuring, you, my dearest, are watching, amused by how unbelievable it has remained that my hand should be severed by a girl, and that in that moment it is not us who find ourselves acknowledged with rows upon rows of eyes most sickened by our adorations and most watchful by our signalling) in what was commonly regarded as my room. I say it is regarded as my room and not just, because to me it has carried about it that impersonal air one might find in a petite maison reeking of infidelity and middle aged man money. The place is not abhorrent and it serves its purpose, but it requires a strain to add much more to its remarkable testaments despite my having stayed for over a month now. The curtains were drawn and the atmosphere was gloomy, and the ceiling's sad scritchy paint whispered to me that it was an appropriate moment to die. However, die I did not, for I was interrupted by a soft sound, and when I looked in its direction I saw an envelope had been slipped beneath my door. My ambitions were that it might be one from you that was missed in the local house delivery just this morning, improbable as it may be- these days it is as if I am living on these letters that you address to me, quietly replacing my oxygen and my consumption are your witty and miraculous words. Oh, how I miss hearing what you have to say in person. It is such an underrated delight! How hath the gods not flocked you to attain some leisurely stand up routine thus far? 

To move on from the subject of my adoration for all that you do, there was an envelope at my door and I knew then that I was likely to be caught in a predicament. Still I made my way over and lit the stale oil lamp at my desk and sat as though I had all intentions to study its contents to next week. The writing was sloppy, giving the impression that it had been ran over more than once with the fountain pen, and the manner and care with which my name was addressed- the 'Kim Dongyoung' and the delighting- made it seem foreign to me, as though I had not heard of such a beauty before. I was not wistful in concern with partaking in the reading of the letter, as even so early in the fiasco I felt my heart pull to the floor with this strange dread. In it was a confession that I suppose was not written with me in mind- I am not a very good person, and yet Taeyong Lee, whom I had since came to the conclusion was lovesick and sore handed from her writing, and no doubt the recipient, believed me to be. It was quite the compliment, actually, and for moments as I sat I could but lap about in this golden euphoric self serving arrogance, and I felt truly at peace for the first time in a while, but then it sank in and my horror was so evident that I refrained from screaming! Oh, Jungwoo, how cruel this abysmal situation is on both parties involved! And though I was but one moral layer away from maddened by Taeyong's young outlook on the affair, I suppressed it until it calmed to a deep, deep sadness. However, I knew that I could not lie to her- and that this was to be my exposal, and this was to be the very core of my being, the breaker- and so I wrote with more ferverance than I'd ever had the care to display before, both a rejection and a promise of my own acquittal. I must leave, I essentially told her. I will be on my merry way but tomorrow morning, so I went on; I am sorry that I cannot accept your undying lust. This is paraphrasing to the highest degree of course, one could be lead to believe I am a creature most gentle from the words I used and how I laced them. I do feel terrible for the poor girl. It is quite a sad occasion, I suppose, but then why am I so joyous? 

Let us not ignore the obvious now. I am so, so happy about what has occurred as it has offered an opportunity to flee from this estate and this monumental tragedy. One does declare it bittersweet! So I am to give my relatives the cold shoulder all night and all morning, and they should not suspect a thing, unless Taeyong has shown to breakfast with thickly veiled tears stained along her bambi face. I am to escape from the ensnarement tomorrow, upon which I will come home to you- and most importantly- your arms. Such is my calling. It appears that I had left town last month swearing by the belief that we were dear, old, best friends- and yet now it seems an insult to us both that this guise should cement itself with my air. I shall now say what it is that we have perhaps been foreshadowing in letters for a while now; it seems that what I have for you now has strengthened, though not static and smothering changes, but rather stemming from it is a thing of such beauty that I pause and consider how a feeling so potent could exist for someone as myself; I tell you this as I believe there is no other option than your reciprocation, for it seems that I am in love with you, and I truly cannot wait to be home. This letter, I am afraid, ends here. To begin with the spark and to dive as a phoenix in shambles- such is my case, I am too embarrassed to continue my confession, and yet it is still so perfectly clear to me that I mean everything that I say and everything that I do not, but rather I think not only in voids where insomnia grabs ahold of me, but also in midday when my time is spread so sparse its weak and I am at my busiest and still I am enraptured by this man so far from where I am, and of course so far from whom I should be contemplating as my other half, and yet it happens again and again. Adieu, Jungwoo. Until tomorrow, at which point I have perhaps returned and you have perhaps yet to so much as receive this. 

More than anything, 

Dongyoung

  
  
  


_ [UNSENT LETTER] From Kim Jungwoo to Kim Dongyoung, 18th of May _

My dearest Dongyoung, I cannot get you out of my head. 

It seems distance really does make the heart grow fonder. 

Come back. Please. Please come back; I miss you so, more than I shall ever have the guts to tell you. And although this letter will never see the light of your gaze, I still have a selfish need for you to know how happy you make me. 

Could it be that I am quite in love with you?

Jungwoo

~~ GOD I AM A FOOL! AS THOUGH DONGYOUNG WILL EVER RETURN MY FEELINGS TO AN EXTENT WHICH HAS NOT THE VILLAINS TO BE VENTURED! GROW UP... ~~


End file.
